I admit it: When I first saw the infomercial for Cozzy Fire and hard of the whole concept, I was skeptical. Nah, I was downright incredulous. It has nothing to do with that weird name (Looks like a misspelling, and it plays nasty tricks on my spell-check). Instead, it’s that bizarre mixture of high-tech with low tech.

If you haven’t seen the Cozzy Fire commercial, it’s a wall-mounted fireplace that is totally remote controlled. In fact, there is no real fire there. Instead, there’s a light deflection technology that creates a visual flame effect which looks amazingly real. The “fireplace” has nine settings, allowing you to create exactly the look, ambiance and feel that you want. But fireplaces have a sense of being traditional, old-fashioned…..so can high-tech really mesh well with the fireplace?

It can and does! Since we ordered our Cozzy Fire, we’ve found that this actually works better than a real fireplace. It’s easier to get the heat level exactly right, plus there’s never any overwhelming smell.

But the commercial does leave some important questions unanswered:

* Does Santa recognize stockings that hang over a fake fireplace as being authentic?

* Isn’t it a bit difficult to roast chestnuts on the “open fire” of a virtual fireplace?

* Most of all, what do I do with all of that wood I’ve chopped for the real fireplace?

Regardless of the answers to these questions, there’s little doubt that both, the fans of modern technology and the fans of old-fashioned home decor will love the Cozzy Fire. It’s a great accessory for any home, and can even be taken with you if you move into a different home. You might never learn to spell it exactly right, but you’ll enjoy your Cozy Fire–oops, COZZY Fire–all year long.

More Infomercial Products

In college I lived in house that had a huge front and back yard. Of course none of us were proactive enough to take care of the dang thing and it didn’t help that the city came and started some construction and filled in the hole with cement then decided to dump the remaining unused cement in the dirt which just became a huge eye sore. So much in fact that I decided to start working on the lawn. It took me a few days but I finally leveled the yard, cleared out the weeds and picked up all the rocks and cement bits so that it was now ready for me to put down seed. Thanks to the hard work that I had put into the yard the landlord decided that I didn’t have to pay a months rent (more beer for everyone) and then she supplied me with some grass seed. Well I guess she didn’t go with Quick Lawn grass seed because this stuff just didn’t grow. I put it down like it said and watered like I was suppose to. It was the first time in my life that I put work into where I was living to make it look nicer and I wanted to finish the job and see my handy work pay off.

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Well needless to say, the grass grew in all patchy and never really filled in. Despite all my hard work, the lawn just didn’t look that good at all. Now that I know about Quick Lawn I will always use that. I don’t care if it doesn’t do exactly what the infomercial claims. If it just works better than generic grass seed then heck, maybe I would feel a little better about putting that much effort into it. I am not saying I am looking forward to my next yard work undertaking, but whenever that happens to be, you bet I will be going with the Quick Lawn seed

Go To Official QuickLawn Site

Now, as a man, I would know just as much about make up as my wife knows about internal combustion engines. When I am forced to look for something in her make up drawer it’s hard to tell if what I see are beauty products or a chemistry set. BUT like a well oiled and maintained engine, I do know something about efficiency, which the Luminess Air Brush seems to provide.

It’s basically a scaled down version of what you paint a car with, except you fill it with makeup. And if the models they used in the infomercial is any indication of what my wife can look like after using it, well I already have my credit card out. We have all heard about that “air brushed” look that the models have in magazines. Us guys know that look because every time we are caught looking at some magazine cover in the checkout line we are told, “You know she doesn’t really look like that, that is all air brushing.” Us Guys usually respond with, “What? Who? Oh I wasn’t looking at that I was just reminiscing about our wedding day and thinking about how happy and content I am with my life” when we are really thinking, “WHAT IS AIRBRUSHING AND HOW CAN WE GET IT FOR YOU?”

Well it looks like we finally have that chance. Not to mention the fact that it does in seconds what it takes my wife an hour to do. So it’s really a win win for us guys, she can look BETTER FASTER. Plus her friend already has one…and she looks great. Not that I was looking…

More Infomercial Products

The new infomercial for a product called Sheer Cover promises that with it, users can “get the sophisticated, radiant look of the stars.” But is that really the best advertising strategy / promise to use for any product? Think about what Hollywood stars have had to offer us in recent years:

* A man who rants against Jews and beats his wife and cusses her out on the telephone.

* A heavy drinker with multiple DWI’s and probation time.

* A woman who keeps defying the court and going to jail.

Great role models, huh? And we want to look just like them! For some reason, America has decided they want the body of the stars….the hair of the stars…the money of the stars….the voices of the stars….and yes, the skin of the stars. Never mind that they are usually some of the worst people in the world. They’re famous, and that’s all that matters.

Fortunately, beauty need not be that closely connected with the idiots in Hollywood. Beauty is a good thing, and it’s something that Sheer Cover does a great job of offering women.

In case you’re not familiar with it, Sheer Cover is a skin care product that goes beyond just makeup or concealer. It’s an all-natural product that hides sun damage, dark circles, freckles, acne, birthmarks, and more on the skin. It’s like an air brush for your body. The foundation comes in four different tones, to match your skin tone: dark, tan, medium and light.

The best part: You now have the opportunity to not only look better than the stars, but to outdo them in character matters, too. I’ve seen Sheer Cover in action, and it’s a great product. Give it a try.

More Information On Sheer Cover

So many As Seen On TV products are so disappointing that I’m giving thanks this year for three that exceeded my expectations.

The Perfect Brownie Pan, EZ Cracker Egg Cracker/Separator and my favorite, NuWave Oven pro, all deserve a spot around your Thanksgiving prep table.

The product: Perfect Brownie Pan Set
The price: $19.95 in many retail stores.
The claims: Bake, slice and serve perfect brownies
Buy-O-Meter Rating: 4 out of 5

Find these all at Zuggie.com!

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So then you are left with two questions. Should I do the necessary yard work to keep my yard looking nice and presentable, or should I neglect my yard and buy a broken down truck motor for the front yard to go with weeds and complete the redneck ensemble? Preferably, I would rather go with the first of the two, but why does it have to suck so badly? Well, now that the Awesome Auger is out, I guess I can at least cut some of the “work” time out simply by using this little guy to weed, dig and till. No longer do I have to break a sweat by bending over to dig holes for shrubs and flowers or get cuts in my hands from pulling weeds or even hurting my lower back (runs in my family) by manually tilling the ground. This thing does all this and more. I could write volumes about how many uses I could come up with for this truly awesome, Awesome Auger, but I suggest you just get one and find out for your self how easy it is to use and how much more free time you might find you have on your off days. Here is to cat napping in the back yard and not having to “work” on your weekend.

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Well, in most cases, but in this case, it’s the participants in the commercial for BRAINIACS, as teeny-boppers get all emotional and giggly because they’ve managed to memorize the square root of an incredibly complex problem.

Let me state going into this, I have tutored for many years, and I absolutely love any program that helps kids learn advanced math concepts and helps them to master basic memorization. And at the same time, I absolutely was annoyed to no end by this commercial. Sorry, just no fan of shrieking girls, even when they’re shrieking over the value of pi.

Other little things annoyed me, too. For instance, when the announcer talked about “squaring a 3 digit number in your head without a calculator.” Umm, as opposed to squaring it in your head WITH a calculator? If you used a calculator, doesn’t that mean it wasn’t in your head? And doesn’t that mean, therefore, that this statement by a man advertising an educational product was redundant?

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But by far, the part that annoyed me most was when the man asked a classroom how much is 61 divided by 91, and he applauded when a boy said. 6,703,296. That’s fine—except it’s wrong. It’s .6703297 (if you’re rounding up). Not griping about the 6 instead of the 7 as the lack of the decimal.

Guess the producer of the commercial just forgot. Guess he needs BRAINETICS.

Outstanding product—REALLY bad commercial.

Like many people, one of my pet peeves are people who dress up their dogs in human clothing. He’s not a human, so why do we try so hard to pretend he is? Especially when the dog hates it so much.

I’ll say one thing for the DOG PEDIC SLEEPING SYSTEM, which I just saw advertised on a late-night commercial: At least this is one case where the dog loves being treated like a human. Even if it is still–well, weird. Here’s the concept. You’ve seen those adjustable mattresses for people, right? The ones with “memory foam” that adjust according to each person’s body? Take that, chop the mattress down to “doggy size” and produce a memory-foam mattress for Fido. That’s what you have with Dog Pedic.

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My mother is such a huge animal lover, that of course, both of her basset hounds sleep inside on her bed with her. Or they did, until she heard about Dog Pedic. Now they each sleep on their own “bed.” But still in her room. Is there any room really cut out for three mattresses, doggy-sized or not?

When the commercial says, “You sleep soundly in a comfortable bed, but what about your best friend?” my response is, “My best friend sleeps better than most of his family. You know, the wolves and wild dogs who sleep out in the forest at night?”

One other amusing fact about this commercial: I don’t know if there are different sizes of Dog Pedic mattresses or not, but clearly they have not yet produced one St. Bernard size….since that dog in their commercial looks like he could fall off the Dog Pedic at any moment. But it could be worse: He could be sleeping in the Alaska snow, where his brothers and sisters are.

I was half right. It turns out SHOCK IT CLEAN is an incredible cleaning product that makes cleaning every bit as fast and easy as the commercial claims..But it turns out that I was right about the commercial itself: Corny with a capital “C.’

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Let’s start with the opening premises: We’re supposedly watching the newest episode of “Amazing Discoveries.” Really? Where, pray tell, can I find other episodes devoted to other inventions? Is there an “Amazing Discoveries” DVD available? Best of “Amazing Discoveries” on a cable website? Nah, didn’t think so.

Then let’s talk about the claim that it’s “literally going to shock you.” Literally? That means you’re not using the word “shock” in a figurative sense. So if I touch this product, I’ll get 100,000 volts rushing through my body?

They brag about the product’s “cucumber melon scent.” MMMMMM, cucumber melon. I plan to plant a new crop of cucumber melons next summer if anyone wants some.

Maybe the corniest part is “Professor Amos” who supposedly invented this product and who talks just like you’d expect an “Amos” to talk. “Hey lookie here, Honey!”

Finally, we see a scene of a man buying a store cleaner for what looks like the nation’s entire reserve of one-dollar bills.

SHOCK IT CLEAN: It shocks your home clean, but its commercial shocks the thinking person’s sensibilities.

Titan peeler

And now we have the Titan Peeler. “Titan” means “giant; big and powerful.” So of course, one of the selling points of Titan Peeler is that it’s so….SMALL and easy-to-handle. Makes perfect sense in infomercial-land.

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This is one of several infomercial items I have personally bought. I did it because I’m lazy and Titan Peeler does a great job of slicing and peeling things in considerably less time. But I bought it before I saw the commercial. Good thing, because the commercial would not have caused me to buy.

For starters, I’m insulted by their having this guy with an Australian accent promoting the product. In fact, more and more people think that British or Australian accents are good for selling food products. Am I, because I’m American, considered inept in the kitchen? (I’m a total expert with the microwave).

But the one part of the commercial that I like is the question that opens it: “Do you want to peel and slice vegetables in an instant?” To which I reply, “No, I don’t want to peel and slice them at all.”

But since NOT peeling them is not an option, doing it faster is better than nothing. And that’s why I love the Titan Peeler. Because laziness is my curse.